(KANDAHAR, Afghanistan) - US Central Command reports that KittenCare.com has dispatched a contingent of special (and cute) kittens to Afghanistan to assist US and Coalition forces in their efforts to rid the country of Al Queda and Taliban fighters; making the place free for kittens to play. Kimu Kamu, a veteran of many a toy mouse, has been given charge of training support pets and is instilling in them the dicipline to march in file, detect danger and "sit" when told to "sit".

General John Abizaid said in a wholly made up quote "these kittens are adorable. I think those Al Queda bastards are in a heap of trouble if they try messing with them". Simba, Chairman and Founder of KittenCare.com, has pledged the full support of cats and kittens worldwide in the fight against terror. Simba added, "Where a kitten is not free, I'll fight like all heck to make that place no more".